WARNING: the contents of this post are extremely sexual and considered NSFW (not safe for work). Well, I guess you already know that.
It’s no more news that most men get totally lost and have no idea on how to go down on a woman. Women on the other hand are usually submissive in bed and may not give you the directions on how to go about eating them out the right way.
The most you get out of them during your futile effort to give her pleasures orally are a few “Oh! Ahh’s!” “Yes! Yes!” or “No! Stop!” which obviously doesn’t help much. And we (men) know we don’t like asking for directions when lost. It makes us look weak!
So, this article is going to be a gps guide to all men have lost their way once or severally when strolling down pussy-avenue.
Let me be your tour guide.
First things first, to be able to eat pussy like a Pro you need to take care of these 3 stuffs first:
1. Your beard stubs.
If you have those short prickly spikes of facial hairs growing on your chin, you may wanna lose them first. It may scratch against the woman’s laps and against her most sensitive parts and efforts will be futile.
2. Your fingernails.
I obviously forgot to mention this in my free eBook, Tongues of Fire. But here it is—trim your fingernails before heading down pussy-avenue. For the obvious reasons of course.
3. Keep a face towel handy.
If your girl is a squitter then you may be in for a surprise showers. And if you already possess such manly super-ability then you really don’t need this article. You’re obviously a Prof and have no need for Pussy 101.
Let’s get down to the basics for the Pussy 101 lectures…
Pussy comes in different sizes, shapes and colors. It looks absolutely ravishing and lovely! If you think otherwise then you better stick to masturbation.
Eating pussy the perfect way boils down to two things—reading her body signs & language and having the navigation skills required. Besides, if you don’t like the woman whose pussy you are about to tour orally, you will always do a bad job down there.
1. Before you go down south.
Like I said earlier, you can’t give a good award-deserving head (cunnilingus) if you don’t feel like the woman or if you don’t want to. It’s not like a blowjob which can be given as a favor.
Your mind have to be into it.
In other words, if you’re not crazy about munching her out then you will always end up with a scrummy face like you’re chewing on African bitter kola.
2. Start from North then head down South.
Don’t rush into her panties with your salivating tongue as soon as the idea hits your head. It’ll be as weird as watching your guest swallow the chicken laps and main dish in less than a minute before the grace was even said.
So, start with so many kisses and caressing. Kiss her, touch her, nibble on her lips. Then when the mood is set and right you can trace your kisses gently down her belly to her navel and way below to the ever sought after pussyville.
Go over her inner thighs and lavish them with warm moist kisses. Keep her anticipating more…
3. Avoid bad table manners.
I know you’ve heard this saying “always wash your hands before meals” more times than you care to remember. It’s almost a cliché. In the same way, you should never explore pussy if it’s a dry territory.
If you graze a dry bush, go back to kissing, hugging and all the caressing moves you know. Just make sure you dip a fingertip between the lips. Because sometimes the moisture can be held inside between her labia (pussy lips) and a mild finger stimulation is all you need to get the whole of pussyville flooded.
TIP: you may moisten your fingers with your saliva or a lube (lubricant) for extra stimulation.
Keep her expectations rising. Don’t kill the vibe too quickly by pushing in more than a dry fingertip at first. That’s a rookie mistake. Always remember that pleasing a woman is all about raising the sexual pressure gradually till her pleasure tank is filled to the brim and she can’t take it no longer.
4. Head on collision. Get ready.
Once you’re sure that she’s wet and probably dripping then it’s time for action. Get your fingers out of there and smack your lips like a big bad wolf getting ready to move in on a prey. Give her the sexy bad boy look as you plan on your next pussy attack move.
TIP: on no account should you assume that biting counts as ‘attack’. And avoid getting in between her legs with the bedsheet over your head. It gets hotter than Taraba state when you do that and it’s not a good idea popping out your head and gasping for air every 2 minutes. This will kill her rising pleasure.
Now, move your lips over to the mound of swollen flesh just below her navel and kiss the hell outta it. Move down a bit next to the crack/slit that paves a way into her lips.
Don’t spend too much time there because women have this ability to have about 21 million different thoughts and conclusions about one particular situation.
So, she may think you mistake the pussy slit for the actual thing or she may think you’re having second thoughts because she smells bad. And we know that is farther from the truth.
5. Interrogate her.
Women are shy about their bodies even if she’s the MBGN or Kim K. So, appreciate what you see in words. Ask her if she likes it. This can be a very good opener for dirty talking.
It will set her on sexual fire because it will prolly make her feel like a bad girl. Trust me, soldier, dirty talking alone can make any woman come like a maniac when done right.
Say something like, “you taste like sweet vanilla, baby.” It’s simple, it’s sexy and it’s downright dirty.
TIP: It’s not an interview. So keep it light. Work on her body while you talk dirty. And always ask question that require a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ reply.
6. Locate and devour.
There are 5 major parts of a woman’s pussy—the outer lips, inner lips, clitoris (clit), the inner canal (vagina) and the legendry G-spot.
Whatever position you take it should be comfy enough for you because your neck and tongue will ache after a while. For me, balancing her on a table while hanging her legs on my shoulders is perfect for me.
After you take position, and you have caressed her inner thighs, brush your tongue in an upward direction over her pussy. I call this the Flick. Do it slowly then reverse. Lick from top to bottom and go the opposite direction. It sends millions of sensual shocks up her entire body.
TIP: the bush may interfere with your tour just like Customs in Malaysia. And this can be annoying. Use your fingers to clear the path for your pink wet navigator (your tongue).
Locate the other lips and gently deal with it. Flick from side to side, up to bottom and reverse.
7. The Inner Caucus.
It may sound new to you especially if you’re a freshman in the school of pussy-eating but some clits are bigger than others; some are more sensitive too. It is usually hidden and covered by the lips (labia). But don’t be discouraged if it takes times to locate. Women appreciate this oral treasure hunt.
The only guide we have at this stage is her “Oh mi gods!” and “Yes, yes!” So, you gotta pay attention to her body language, bro. Read her signs like you’re prepping for your final MB exams in the college of Medicine.
However, the clit can be found on the top corner, just beneath the hood of the labia. It should be erect by now. Or just ask her. Tell her to say “yes daddy” whenever your tongue hits it. It’s dirty talk.
If you get to this stage then you’re on the right path to straight A’s.
Nibble on the outer lips; use your tongue like a vacuum to suck gently on it.
Make those sucking smirks and tell her she has an awesome pussy lip. The moment she starts grinding/thrusting her hips into your face or she starts pushing your face deeper into her then you have my permission to re-strategize and go into a full blown assault.
Move from the outer lips to the inner ones and to the clit again. If she flinches when you do the flick on the clit then she probably has a sensitive clit and you should apply little pressure. Run your entire tongue over it after you separate it from the lips that covers it.
8. Rock her je-je (gently)
Most women will begin to shake like a leaf and have quick spasmodic shivers when you devour her. Others will need a little something extra.
Now, my man, is the perfect time to call for backup. Slide in a wet finger or two into her vay jay jay. They (your fingers) will support your tongue in this mission.
When you introduce your fingers, they should cover you well. Slide in one finger first followed by a second and a third if you like. But two is perfect. Let the fingers do a thorough search of her inner caucus. Search every nook and cranny like EFCC did to Dasuki’s crib. But gentler though.
TIP: sucking on her clit and using your fingers will give her extra sensations. Using your mouth as a vacuum while making those sucking sounds is a good way to give her a clitoral orgasm.
This may take some time for starters. Swing your head from side to side while you lick just like a pendulum. Why? Inconsistent actions will kill her rising pleasure.
Now, back to your side-kicks (your fingers), turn your palm to face upwards without withdrawing. The most elusive G-spot is usually located at the roof somewhere slightly to the left. It feels slightly rough.
That is the exact coordinates.
To stimulate this point you need to make a ‘come here’ sign with your fingers, bro. stimulate this point in circular motions as you cup and massage her pussy mound at the same time. That’s some skill!
9. Total knock out. TKO.
Now, she will prolly be in Wonderland or somewhere very close to Crazyland. That moment when she grabs on your hair or the sheets like she’s about to fall off the edge of the earth or she speaks in foreign alien tongues you can’t decipher then you know it’s almost game over.
No matter what happens now don’t EVER STOP whatever it was that you were doing that got her speaking gibberish. Even if World War III just got started and the first nukes were dropped in your bedroom. Don’t stop!
Stopping or trying something different at this point will make her pleasure drop like a ball. And you have to start all over or get a slap.
When her muscles begins to contract in spams and her pussy wall squeezes and tightens around your fingers then you know she’s there. You just got her into the inexplicable world or the Big Mighty O (orgasm) on a first-class ride.
TIP: clitoral orgasms are different from vaginal orgasms. If you’ve read my eBook How to Give Any Woman an Earth Shattering Orgasm, you should know this already.
EXTRA TIP: rub her anal section during her orgasm. You may even slide in a fingertip and watch her entire another phase of the Big O.
10. GAME OVER? NOT YET.
Give her some time between orgasms. Some women have multiple O’s. Rest your tired tongue on her clit for a while. She’ll be freaking sensitive by now if she had a clitoral orgasm. So, no more clitoral stimulations.
You may cuddle her and tell her how beautiful she looks. Slip on your condom and prepare for Round 2. Lash her like a boss following the exact steps I laid out in my eBook and get her to have WILD INTENSE vaginal orgasms which is more powerful than clitoral orgasms.
You can pull this off like lots of men who have gone through my eBook like a real Pro.
FINAL TIP: if she doesn’t look as though a demon is being exorcised from her during the orgasm or she doesn’t look sweaty, flushed and like she did a marathon with a Kenyan then she prolly faked it, bro. And you need to get my eBook How to Give Any Woman an Earth Shattering Orgasm now.
Click HERE or contact my sales manager Kenny on WhatsApp 09050047973 (8am – 6pm)
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